quipxotic

I finally caved and used one of my credits to pick up Thirteen Doctors 13 Stories - an anthology of Doctor Who short stories, one story for each Doctor - which I've been eyeing since I first joined Audible. I've spent the last week listening to it and overall it's quite good, but there is a wide range of stories of varying quality. Below I'll give a brief blurb, review, and rating for each one.

• The First Doctor: "A Big Hand for the Doctor" by Eoin Colfer - "London, 1900. The First Doctor is missing both his hand and his granddaughter, Susan. Faced with the search for Susan, a strange beam of soporific light, and a host of marauding Soul Pirates intent on harvesting human limbs, the Doctor is promised a dangerous journey into a land he may never forget..." - What is it about modern writers and the First Doctor? They all just want to focus on the angry, grumpy old man aspects of his character, which means their portrayals of him are utterly one dimensional. And yes, he is grumpy, self-centered, and vindictive at times, particularly early on before Ian and Barbara start rubbing off on him. But he's also mischievous, curious, delighted by all sorts of things, sarcastic, brave, and hopeful about the future, both his own and the universe's. In short, he is still the Doctor. And yet, with some exceptions from Big Finish, most modern writers don't even make an attempt at creating a well-rounded person when they're writing the First Doctor. As you may have guessed, I hated this story because it's guilty of all the above and more. The story is also just...painfully dull. Rating: 1 of 13 sonic screwdrivers.


• The Second Doctor: "The Nameless City" by Michael Scott - "When Jamie McCrimmon brings the Second Doctor a mysterious book, little does he realise the danger contained within its pages. The book transports the TARDIS to a terrifying glass city on a distant world, where the inhabitants are intent on getting revenge on the Time Lord for an ancient grudge." - Unlike the first story, this one nails the characterizations of both the Second Doctor and Jamie. I particularly like its take on Jamie's motivations as he tries to (yet again) save his friend. The story is fast paced and creepy, with lots of great world building. It also benefits from Frazer Hines's perfect voice acting as both Jamie and Two. Rating: 12 of 13 sonic screwdrivers.


• The Third Doctor "The Spear of Destiny" by Marcus Sedgwick - "The Third Doctor and Jo Grant are trying to track down the magical spear of Odin when they find themselves caught up in a vicious battle between two Viking tribes. But one of the Vikings is even more dangerous than he appears to be. Can the Doctor stop the spear getting into the wrong hands before it's too late?" - This is a charming little story that also manages to get its main characters right. I particularly enjoyed the part set among the Vikings, both for it's action-adventure qualities and how it spotlights Jo's relationship with the Doctor. Rating: 10 of 13 sonic screwdrivers.


• The Fourth Doctor: "The Roots of Evil" by Philip Reeve - "When the Fourth Doctor takes Leela to visit an immense tree space station known as the Heligan Structure, little do they know that the tree has been asleep for centuries, dreaming of vengeance against a man in a blue box. As the tree awakes, the Time Lord and his companion soon discover why they are such unwelcome guests." - What a fantastic story. I'm a little at a loss to describe this one without spoiling it, but it's a joy from start to finish. It's a perfect story for Leela in that there's plenty of fighting for her to do, but it also allows her to connect with the other characters on a warm, personal level. Rating: 12 of 13 sonic screwdrivers.


• The Fifth Doctor: "Tip of the Tongue" by Patrick Ness - "In 1945, a strange new craze for Truth Tellers is sweeping the kids of small-town America. The Fifth Doctor and Nyssa soon arrive to investigate the phenomenon, only to discover that the actual truth behind the Truth Tellers is far more sinister than anyone could have imagined..." - This is a Doctor-lite story, which is a little disappointing given that Five is one of my favorite Doctors. Still, the two main characters are so endearing they almost make up for it. Rating: 8 of 13 sonic screwdrivers.


• The Sixth Doctor: "Something Borrowed" by Richelle Mead - "A wedding on the planet Koturia turns out to be a far more dangerous proposition than the Sixth Doctor and Peri ever expected. It marks the return of a formidable old foe whose genius matches the Doctor's. Can the Doctor outwit this villain, save Peri and stop the wedding in time?" - The villain in this one is pretty unimpressive, but that doesn't matter too much as the main appeal is the Doctor and Peri. Mead gets their personalities right, quarrels and all. The story is fairly predictable, but enjoyable. Sophie Aldred reads/acts several stories in this set, but she impressed me most on this one. Rating: 8 of 13 sonic screwdrivers.


• The Seventh Doctor: "The Ripple Effect" by Marorie Blackman - "When the TARDIS lands on Skaro, the Seventh Doctor and Ace are shocked to discover the planet has become the universal centre of learning, populated by a race of peace-loving Daleks. Ever suspicious of his archenemies' motives, the Doctor learns of a threat that could literally tear the universe apart..." - The ideas behind this story are really good, but the story itself is predictable and the pace drags as a result. Plus, it takes the Doctor until nearly the end of the story to figure out something I guessed five minutes in; given that Seven is one of the most cunning and clever of the Doctor's incarnations, that undermines his characterization. Rating: 6 of 13 sonic screwdrivers.


• The Eighth Doctor: "Spore" by Alex Scarrow - "In a small town in the Nevada desert, an alien pathogen has reduced the entire population to a seething mass of black slime. When the Eighth Doctor arrives, he realises this latest threat to humanity is horrifyingly familiar - it is a virus which almost annihilated his entire race, the Time Lords..." - Scarrow has a good handle on Eight's voice in this story. This is the Eighth Doctor not long after his regeneration and at his most hopeful. It's a good thing too, because the events he's dealing with are pretty horrifying. This is a genuinely creepy tale that I thoroughly enjoyed. It fails to develop the supporting characters as much as I'd like, but that's the only complaint I have. Rating: 12 of 13 sonic screwdrivers


• The Ninth Doctor: "The Beast of Babylon" by Charlie Higson - "When a girl called Ali pockets a silver orb that falls from the sky, little does she realize it's her ticket to seeing the universe! Desperate to retrieve the mysterious object, the Ninth Doctor agrees to let her join him on a dangerous trip to ancient Babylon. Together they must join forces to stop a giant Starman from destroying Earth before it's too late! " - This is a story set during the episode "Rose" and there's a lot I like about it. Ali is a joy and I'd love to read more about her. Higson does a pretty good job with Nine too and I enjoyed the story as a whole, although it's a bit more comfortable with violence than I'd expect any Doctor Who story to be. Rating: 10 of 13 sonic screwdrivers.


• The Tenth Doctor: "The Mystery of the Haunted Cottage" by Derek Landy - "When the TARDIS lands on a planet that looks identical to Earth, the Tenth Doctor and Martha are amazed to find it packed with fictional characters from her childhood. But who has the power to create an entire world out of books and why? The Doctor and Martha must solve the mystery before their story ends!" - Was the Tenth Doctor always this annoying? Landy's version of Martha is brilliant and funny, which is right in keeping with my memories of her from the show. But Ten? I was so tired of him by the end. The beginning of the story is really slow, but it picks up after the reveal when they try to escape through an ever-changing series of fictional settings. Rating: 5 of 13 sonic screwdrivers.


• The Eleventh Doctor: "Nothing O'Clock" by Neil Gaiman - "Thousands of years ago, Time Lords built a Prison for the Kin. They made it utterly impregnable and unreachable. As long as Time Lords existed, the Kin would be trapped forever and the universe would be safe. They had planned for everything… everything, that is, other than the Time War and the fall of Gallifrey. Now the Kin are free again and there’s only one Time Lord left in the universe who can stop them!" - It will surprise no one to learn that this is probably the best story in the set. It's creepy, funny, and charming. Gaiman does a fantastic job with both Eleven and Amy, and the villains are real nightmare material. Rating: 13 of 13 sonic screwdrivers.


• The Twelfth Doctor: "Lights Out" by Holly Black - The Doctor is waiting in line at the universe's third best coffee shop when the woman in front of him is murdered. Under the flickering lights of a space station, the Doctor recruits a teenage pilot as his temporary companion and tries to discover the culprit before there are more deaths or the lights go out completely. - There's a lot to like in this story. Twelve is very true to his early self - rude, frightening, and so very sad. The narrator of the story is also a wonderfully complex character. There's a twist that I guessed before it happened, but that didn't take away from my enjoyment. I haven't talked much about the narration of these stories because for the most part all the voice actors do pretty good jobs. But here the voice acting by Samuel Anderson (aka Danny Pink) really helps the story shine. Rating: 12 of 13 sonic screwdrivers.


• The Thirteenth Doctor: "Time Lapse" by Naomi Alderman - The year 2004 has gone missing. A letter sent to the TARDIS alerts the Doctor and her friends to the mystery and they soon find themselves embroiled in struggle that could erase all of Earth's history. - This one could have benefited by being longer, so it could develop its characters more. It also features one of the most annoyingly incompetent professional time travelers I've ever had the misfortune to read about. Still, it's nice to spend time with Thirteen, Graham, Yaz, and Ryan inbetween seasons. Rating: 7 of 13 sonic screwdrivers.

I'm observing the Tumblr boycott today, so I thought I'd write about two December additions to the Big Finish/Doctor Who main range: "The Hunting Ground" and "Muse of Fire."

I really wanted to like "The Hunting Ground" because it has a lot to recommend it. First, it's written by a woman (*jazz hands* Yaaaaaaaaaah!). Big Finish is, in general, better at providing opportunities for women than all the pre-Chibnall seasons of the TV show, but writing is one place I think they could stand to do better. Bonus - this writer, A. K. Benedict, wrote "Shadow Planet," a Seventh Doctor audio I really enjoyed. For this one, Benedict starts with a story that seems like it could be straight from one of Henning Mankell's Wallander novels: a dead body with their head encased in ice is found in modern day Iceland. Police Detective Yrsa Kristjansdottir instantly connects this death to the murder of her father. Does she have a serial killer on her hands?

It's a interesting concept but straightaway Benedict is saddled with a problem: this is a Sixth Doctor story and he's one of the most ill-suited Doctors for a hyper-realistic, conspiracy-laden murder mystery. In fact, it's hard to imagine a worse Doctor for this kind of story. (Five maybe? But he's been used effectively in some dark stories - Fear of the Dark, for example.) There's the typical "Doctor as suspect" plot point that doesn't come across as very credible and, as a result, undermines Yrsa Kristjansdottir as a character. But the story holds together fairly well until about the middle when the wheels begin to come off. The whole thing can't seem to decide whether it wants to be a grim crime thriller or a science fiction comedy, and it really can't be both - the tones are too different to gel well. But the part that really annoyed me was the frequent use of a particularly lazy story element common to Doctor Who and Sherlock Holmes adaptations: a character runs up against a problem or threat that turns out to be no challenge because the character has previously done something "off screen" that the audience wasn't aware of and that allows them to solve the problem. It's meant to make characters seem ultra smart and to move the plot along, but it just kills any kind of suspense or danger. All that said, I didn't hate this audio; the cast was excellent and there were some good parts of the story. I just came away feeling a bit disappointed about what it could have been.

By contrast, "Muse of Fire" by Paul Magrs is a delight. It features the same team A. K. Benedict wrote for in "Shadow Planet," the Seventh Doctor, Ace, and Hex, and plunks them down in 1920s Paris. The Doctor assures Ace that this is just a vacation, a chance for him to meet some of his artistic heroes and recharge his creative batteries. She doesn't believe him and, of course, she's right not to because someone is monkeying around with history. Famous artists are fleeing Paris and the Doctor wants to know who is behind it all.

I can't say much about the plot without risking spoilers, but the story deals with themes of creativity, talent (or the lack there of), and the dangers of listening to criticism. Both Katy Manning's Iris Wildthyme and David Benson's Panda are sensational. As for Team TARDIS, the chemistry with this group was always good but it's particularly sparkling in this story; Ace and Hex are in their peak sibling phase and the Seventh Doctor is less manipulative and more whimsical, which is how I prefer him. It helps that the whole thing is much lighter than most of their audios, with a healthy dose of surrealistic silliness thrown in. The plot isn't complicated and you'll probably figure out the villain and their plan long before the characters do, but it's so much fun you won't care.